To Thai or just too High...

 As a child I grew up with many influential figures with two sets of opposing ideas; one, that my mother is an advocate of, 'don't aim too high for you will fall flat on your face and you will disengage with your reality' and the other idea, voiced by my sister, 'nothing is impossible and keep trying.' I can't say either are wrong or right, different situations require various ideas. For example, there is no point in deluding one self into a world of fantasy as it will crush the confidence of an individual; yet, at same time, we must try before we can say it is our destiny. On one particular night out, these two opposing ideas came into direct battle. 

A friend was leaving London to work abroad, so a group of four people decided to take her to a Thai restaurant in Soho (China Town) named Thai Tho Soho (42 Rupert Street) since her favourite food is Thai. I personally never tried it before; it seemed like the perfect choice. Another friend who was booking the table is a close friend of mine, so she is very aware of all the usual difficulties that I encounter when dining out or just going out for that matter. She phoned the restaurant, and asked twice 'is the place fully accessible?' Then, for fear of not defining full access properly, she furthermore asked if there are any steps or high kerbs. Their reply was a clear-'no, it is fully accessible with low height table.' My friend was still worried and asked, "are you sure?", sceptical. But, alas, she got a firm yes! I decided to call again, as often I get different people with different replies. I called the restaurant after my friend informed me that she had booked, and asked the same questions, then specifically said, "there is not any steps at all to get into the restaurant?" I was assured that there is none at all. I could not believe my luck! It's the first place we try, and it's accessible!

I then began to worry about getting there... Will my carer arrive on time? Will the booked taxi turn up? And if I hail one, would it stop? Then if it did, will it have ramps? These are just some of the usual issues that I regularly encounter and have to consider every time I go out.

The actual day arrived and everything was running smoothly- the carer was punctual, the  taxi came at the requested time, and my friend and I set off to meet the others at the restaurant. Again, I could not believe my luck! Well... I should not have really, as the dream date turned into a cold nightmare. The taxi dropped us off near the restaurant, and that's when our luck changed. As we finally arrived to the restaurant entrance, right out their door, was a huge step of about 4 inches in length at least. Woe. Is. Me.  My friend and I thought "ok, maybe there is another entrance or they might have a mobile ramp." I waited outside as my friend went to speak to the waiters, only to be told, nonchalantly, "no problem we will get you a place upstairs! Yes, it is about 14 steps but we can carry the wheelchair!!!!" My wheelchair is electric and is quite heavy. There is NO way that anyone can carry it 14 steps or even up the front door step. It is degrading for me, dangerous for all parties involved and, above all, why lie and say you are accessible?! I refused their offer and stated that we phoned three times and asked clearly whether or not the place is accessible. So why mislead us?! Why spoil my night out? Surely 14 steps are hard to miss! Even if the person who answered the phone was new to the place, then go and make sure it is accessible. I am not asking for the place to become accessible... I just want to know if it is!!!!

It is here that my mother's words echoed in my head. There was obviously no point in arguing, as all I got was an apology and the offer of a 'lift' up the stairs. Irritated, we were running out of time. I had to get back by certain hour for my carer's next call, plus the other girls were on their way to the restaurant. We phoned them and said to wait for our call while we search for another place even if it is not Thai food; just a restaurant to escape the cold and eat.

This may sound hard to believe, but we spent nearly 40 minutes searching for a restaurant. Surprisingly (not!), the whole of China town, did not have a single place that offered full access. I did not even want much, just some place step free and low height tables... God help people who need toilets or ear loops etc...Every restaurant we saw either had a high step or a very narrow door. Disgruntled and disheartened, I was freezing and desperate to just go anywhere. Even Burger King, the apparent mass market franchise eatery, had a step!

Excitedly, we finally thought we found a place. It had two steps, but on the side there was a slope for wheelchairs. What a relief! We went inside, called the girls, and gave them the name and address. We then opened the inside door to go in only to see 3 massive steps which you need to pass to get into the lift that will take you downstairs to the restaurant! :| What is the point?! Why start something and not finish it? why give hope, and cruelly cut it short? Why don't people use common sense and realise that having a lift with 3 steps to get to it is not my idea of accessible building!

Not one to give up easily, we carried on searching, finally finding a Lebanese restaurant in Piccadilly. Yes... it is that far away from the Thai restaurant, but wheelchair users can not be choosers, so we had to take whatever came our way. Even this place had two steps, but it also had a side door. Again, they offered to lift the wheelchair, but we insisted on using the side door, which we did. I wonder why everyone is obsessed with lifting me and the wheelchair?  Is it kindness, guilt, laziness, or (hopefully) chivalry in the 21st century? Whatever the reason, I don't want to be lifted. I don't want special treatment, I just want the same rights as everyone else!

I end this blog with one final thought- how can a very touristy area lack basic facilities for disabled people? If I, a Londoner, face that much difficulties in dining out, how welcome must foreign visitors with physical impairments feel?

'Warhorse': An animal's dream , A disabled person's nightmare

It is quite ironic that a play that is essentially about the idea of hope should be the very same play that kills 'my hope' of seeing it on stage.

Like most people who have heard endlessly about 'Warhorse', I wanted to go and see it with a friend; and when's a better time to go than during the holiday season, when my friend will be off from work and we will have more of a chance of getting tickets... how wrong was I?!

I phoned the number that is on Warhorse's website to book tickets, ideally I would love to book online as most people with internet access do, but I know being a wheelchair user I have to double check that the theatre is accessible, whether there are no small steps and that the space allocated for wheelchair users is actually a space big enough to accommodate electric wheelchairs. In fact I would have to repeat these questions several time to ensure there is no disappointment on the day, but that is a blog for another day.

Back to Warhorse. As the ticket office assistant answered the phone I explained I need to book 2 tickets one for a wheelchair user. I was told because I need a wheelchair space, I would have to call the actual venue of the play. I got the number and phoned, only to be told that the actual venue is where the play first started and not its current location. By this point, my tolerance level had started to drop; but I thought, 'it is ok nothing comes easy', and one must suffer to fully appreciate the joy. Yes, I was deluding myself.

I called the National Theatre where Warhorse was first performed, and after I gave the dates and number of tickets, I started to explain that I need a wheelchair space only to be stopped and told... Yes... of course, I have to call yet another number!!

I really could not grasp why a single venue should have different number and locations for booking a wheelchair space, so I voiced my view and explained that I spent nearly 2 hours on the phone calling 3 different numbers only to be told the same thing, 'I need to call another line', like a silly game of pass the parcel, with only slight difference-there is no fun involved in calling various phone numbers to book tickets. The reply I got is not even worth quoting, just a simple almost robotic programmed line of "sorry that is the only access telephone for wheelchair users".

Again, I am baffled as to why people with disability must call a specially designated phone number. Isn't that a form of segregation? And why make the process so hard and complicated? You can imagine my joy after all this time and after finally having the right number, I get an automated message informing me that the access line is only open for a limited number of hours on some days of the week!!! Frustrated, angry and annoyed I did not want to give up. Not for the deep desire to see the play, as by that stage I had lost complete interest in seeing Warhorse, but I just did not want to be beaten by a system that is beyond logic. I called again the next day-no answer. The day after the phone lines were busy, then finally someone answered but by then Warhorse was booked out; well, wheelchair spaces were at least, and not really surprised as there are only 2 or 3 spaces available.

So I was beaten by this 'illogical system'. Despite my efforts, tolerance and persistence, I was no match for the discrimination, ill thinking, narrow minded attitude of a messed up system. How is it possible that in a 2013, the 'age of now' and 'instant everything', calling 5 different numbers just to find such a simplistic answer should be shameful. Especially in London.

I want to end this blog with an interesting yet ironic thought 'Warhorse' which is a tale of dignity offered to an animal in 1914, is not offered to people living with disability in 2013.